Sunday, 02 September

I know what you must be thinking, “Finally an update!” My apologies for not providing more information, but any update from me over the last 3 weeks would have been filled with whining and complaining so I decided no update was better than a depressing update.

It’s not that Karen’s health has changed remarkably one way or the other since the last posting. We are both just so incredibly tired; Karen from cancer and me because I allowed myself to go too far down the road emotionally. I’ll explain more about that later.

16 August - Karen went for chemotherapy (Gemzar) and Herceptin. The infusions of both went well. She was also given a shot of Aranesp to increase her red blood cell count. Upon arriving home she began experiencing a low grade fever, general flu like aching in her body and the ever present nausea. All common, albeit very annoying and sometimes worrisome, side effects from the chemotherapy she is now taking.

20 August – We received word the tumor markers have jumped from 309 to 414. Wrong direction!

23 August – After getting the results of the blood tests which are taken every time she goes for treatment, the doctor dropped the level of chemotherapy (Gemzar) down to a 75% dose due to its affects on her white blood cells (immune system) and platelets (bloods ability to clot). Karen was given two Neupogen shots to take home and instructions on how to give them to herself over the next week in an effort to boost her white blood cells. Karen was also scheduled to have a follow-up MRI of the brain completed, but our insurance company required more information from the doctor before they would pay for another one so it was cancelled and rescheduled. She experienced the same flu like systems as the week before from taking the chemotherapy.

30 August – Blood test results revealed the Neupogen shots worked, maybe too well, increasing Karen white blood cell count to the highest range of normal. However due to platelet counts at 40,000 (the low end of normal is 140,000) the chemotherapy was cancelled until next week in hopes that this would give Karen’s body time to rebuild the platelet counts. She was given a shot of Aranesp to increase red blood cell count. Also, we were able to get the MRI approved by the insurance company so we went over to Saint Joseph’s to have the test done. Hopefully, we will hear good news after the holiday about the spots of caner on the brain.

Now for why the updates were held, I was simply completely overwhelmed. People often ask me, “How do you do it? Or state I don’t know how you do it.” Well for the last few weeks I have not been handling any of “it” well. Karen is the even keeled part of our relationship who has never (I use that word intentionally) complained about having cancer or about the drastic changes it has brought to our lives. She doesn’t fret about the future and believes God has our lives firmly in His hands and will provide a way for whatever our family faces now and in the future. I believe all that too. However over the last few weeks I’ve allowed myself to think too far down the road and have become burdened with tomorrow.

The “what if”’ tendency, had run me over like a train. Every time I would get a problem solved the next train car (problem) would smack me down again. What’s worse is I was spending mental time solving challenges that didn’t even exist and may never exist. My thoughts, like a runaway train, were simply out of control. God graciously reminded me, as I spent time reading the Bible and in prayer that I should concern my self with today and let Him handle tomorrow. He is well aware of everything that concerns me and my family.

So I’m back in the saddle for now, handling things as they come and seeking to enjoy today. I’m a very blessed man.

Until next time…