The cell phone Karen used has remained mostly off since her passing. If you call it you can still hear her greeting on the voicemail. Hearing her voice is another thing that brings me comfort at times.
Last night (11June2008), a preset alarm on her phone began to sound at 22:30 hours. I was unprepared for what I would see. Set in the phone was a reminder to take Taxol (chemotherapy – she was scheduled to start taking). She had set a reminder to take this drug twice daily. Since her phone was off most of the time the alarm just reset itself for the next scheduled time.
At first, I was overwhelmed wanting to hold her and talk with her. Then as I thought of the 42 bottles of medication I took back to the pharmacy my spirit lifted and gave way to joy. I grieve only for those relationships instantly cut off by death, I rejoice for her. She is walking with the Lord and all those that have gone before her. She is seeing unimaginable things and enjoying perfect health as God intended. Praise God, she no longer needs long hours traveling to and from doctors, no medication to fight the pain and nausea.
Death sounds so final doesn’t it? In many ways it is for those of us left behind. Death will come to us all; the question is what happens then? You’ve just read what I believe Karen is experiencing. She didn’t fear death and you don’t have to either.
If you are not certain of what will happen when you die, you can be. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
It doesn’t matter where you are in your life right now; God is waiting to meet you there. All you have to do is invite Him and accept the gift of salvation; I promise your life will never be the same.
Nearly eight months ago Karen scheduled herself to take medication last night at 22:30 but wasn’t here to take it. She would only be 37. She would be making plans to celebrate the 7th birthday of one of her children. She would be caring for the needs of her family. Her entire life before her, growing old with the most dashing man on earth, grand children, you know all those things we expect to be ours. Life doesn’t always go as we plan it. What are your plans for 22:30 tonight?
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4 comments:
That is a great picture of Karen in the banner.
I am touched by your deep faith. Each time I read Karens blog I feel inspired to strengthen my own relationship with God. Thank you so much for your selflessness. I am sure you and Karen have inspired many.
Wendy..(I bet Karen is looking down on her husband and children with such love and pride.)
Darren,
This is Carl's sister, Rebecca ('Becca'). You express yourself so very well, you really should write that book we talked about. Thank you so much for sharing your heartfelt emotions, I am sure they will encourage others who have gone through, or will go through, similar situations. The love you have for Karen, your family and the Lord are very evident. What a blessing you are to all who read what you have so eloquently expressed. May God richly bless you and the children. Know we pray for you as God lays you on our hearts. May you feel His comfort on a daily basis.
Always in Him, The Miller's
Hi,
I don't remember how I found this blog in the first place but I just wanted to say I am so glad the Karen was a Christian. I don't even know her personally and I find myself welling up with joy knowing she is rejoicing in Heaven.
I just wanted to say, before you close the blog (which, I don't know if you mean you are going to take it offline too) that you might want to consider having it published in book form.
No, I'm not from any company or anything, I just wanted to make you aware (if you didn't all ready know) that there are companys who will publish your blog in bound book form. I'm sure if you 'google' for it there are multiple places that do it.
I am a mom and I am willing to bet that your children would cherish having something like that.
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